2. Carve Rest Breaks into your Day, Week, and Year

In modern life stress is out of control. A lot of this is because we are in go mode 24-7, and we don’t take sufficient time for rest and recovery. From our morning cup of coffee, to the power bar we eat before our workout, to the energy drink we use to keep going at night, our culture is obsessed with being on the go. During the week, we are supposed to work hard, and on the weekend we are supposed to play hard. But what happened to actually resting? Many of us see a fun weekend as a way to recuperate from the stress of the week. And having fun is great, and an important part of a low-stress life. But real relaxation and rest is critical too, or we just keep burning up our reserves. All of us need to take time for real relaxation and recovery every day. Take 45 minutes for lunch, eat slowly, and actually relax and digest your food. Take 5 minute breaks from whatever you’re doing at least every two hours, and do some deep relaxing breathing (see below). Most importantly, try to take a full day and night off from everything each weekend. Go out if you like either Friday or Saturday night, but leave the other night (and the day that follows it) free to watch TV, see a movie, read, or, even better, get outside and relax amidst nature. Finally, every six months, take a real vacation (don’t bring any work!!!) and let your body, mind, and spirit really chill out and recover.

Staying on the go all of the time is a recipe for burn out. In trying to cram as much work and as much fun as possible into our lives, we end up shooting ourselves in the foot. By taking the time to really rest and relax, we become more productive at school/work and more enthusiastic and engaged in every aspect of our lives.

3. Train your Body How to Relax, or it Will Forget How

Your nervous system has two fundamental divisions called the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. These two systems perform opposite functions. In a nutshell, the sympathetic nervous system wakes your body up and puts it on the go, while the parasympathetic nervous system chills your body our, and helps it relax and rest.

What happens to a muscle that you use a lot? That muscle gets bigger and stronger, up to the point when you overuse it, at which point it starts to burn out and deteriorate. How about a muscle that you almost never use? Inevitably that underused muscle gets weak and flabby.  The same thing is true of the divisions of your nervous system.

If you use your sympathetic nervous system (the rev up and get going side) all of the time, it gets stronger and stronger, up to the point where it burns out. If you don't use use your parasympathetic nervous system enough (the chill out and recover side), it gets weaker and can't perform when you need it to. Life in modern America exercises the sympathetic nervous system all of the time, and almost completely neglects the parasympathetic nervous system.  As a result, the sympathetic nervous systems become highly facilitated, keeping us on the go and frequently on edge even when we don't want to be. This persists right up to the point when we burn out and end up just feeling exhausted. At the same time, our underutalized parasympathetic nervous systems start to shut down, meaning we can't effectively relax and truly rest even when we do take the time to. 

Exhaustion and deep rest have nothing to do with one another. Exhaustion sets in when we burn up our reserves on the sympathetic side and simply can't go anymore. Deep rest is only possible through strong parasympathetic nervous system activity. A balanced nervous system leads to plenty of energy while we are on the go as the sympathtic nervous system dominates, and deep rest at night and whenerver we take down time to recover through strong parasympathetic activity. A burned out sympathetic system translates into a lack of energy while at work through the day, and an under-utalized, weak parasympathetic system leads to an inability to ever really relax, much less sleep well, at night. Sound familiar?

Fortunately, the nervous system is resilient, and lifestyle changes can help reestablish a healthy balance between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system function. Proper nutrition is critical, as the chemistry that drives sympathetic and parasympathetic function, and the glands that create these chemicals, are ultimately derrived from the food you eat. Proper exercise can also help balance nervous system function. By proper exercise, we don't mean getting on a treamill or going for a jog for 30 minutes three times per week. We mean moving the way your body is truly meant to move - in bursts of activity followed by periods of relative recovery, somewhat like interval training or the patterns of movement involved in most sports. See our Exercise Overview for more.

Taking time to consciously relax also gives the sympathetic nervous system a chance to rest and recover, while stimulating and strengthening the parasympathetic nervous system. Any relaxing activity can help with this, like a walk in the woods, a bath, a massage, listening to music, naping in the early afternoon, and especially taking vacations. But the best way to train your body to relax, especially if you’ve been stressed out for so long that you feel like you can’t relax, is through meditation. Check out our Meditation Tutorial for a brief user-friendly guide.